Sometimes Not Listening to Myself is the Better Thing to Do

I talk a lot about always trusting and listening to yourself, but real life doesn't work in absolutes.

There are exceptions.

This past Friday I encountered an exception.

I'm at a point in my memoir when I'm in high school, and it's difficult. I don't know what to write next. So per usual with a writing block, I silently meditated. To remember who I was. What I was thinking and feeling.

And ... nothing.

I was frustrated. "Okay ..." I thought. "I know there are some old pictures on Facebook, I'll look through those and see what comes up."

It was even worse than nothing.

It was pictures and pictures of a girl I didn't remember at all. I immediately felt disconnected. Discouraged. I tried writing a random memory, and the quality was subpar. I reread some of my earlier writing and thought that was shitty too. Then, I started to spiral.

I'm a bad writer.

What was I even thinking writing a book on my life?

I can't remember anything.

This will never be good enough for someone to read.

I'm not good enough.

I can't –

STOP.

I took a deep breath.

I picked a new thought.

It's okay to feel this way.

That writing is shitty.

But, that doesn't mean you're a bad writer.

You know how to write well.

Give yourself time.

Don't give up.

I immediately felt better. A little.

Keep going.

If you do, you will succeed.