Sober Month Recap

For the past month of July, I tasked myself with no drugs or alcohol.

(But, yes to caffeine. I drink about 30mg every few days of this matcha mushroom blend.

Not an ad – I just love it.)

Originally, I set this sobriety goal because I felt a lack of productivity. I have big ambitions for myself, and like any impatient self-critical person, I was wondering "why haven't I accomplished more?"

One major goal left unchecked was the launch of this very blog.

I've had the idea since January.

I've been writing posts since March.

Where was the actual website?

My overall attention was too divided and my daily energy too sluggish.

Although I already wasn't drinking a lot of alcohol, I was smoking weed almost every night. Sometimes during the day.

I've known for a while that weed was affecting my productivity, but I didn't want to admit it. I had every excuse and work around in the book.

Well, I'll just do it once at night.

But it makes me more creative!

Don't I deserve to relax?

And I do deserve that. Really all of those statements are valid. But during a quiet meditation something else came up:

What if?

What if your life is better in sobriety?

What if the extra effort made all your dreams come true?

It wasn't easy by any means.

There were times I almost caved in.

Times I could feel my body craving and my mind rationalizing my way back, but I kept my ambitions front a center in my mind: I want to publish this blog. I want to heal myself. I want to help others heal.

Now, it's August 1st and my blog launch is only a few weeks away.

This past month, I've had more energy, less anxiety, and productivity out the wazoo.

I love sobriety.

I also still love weed.

I could smoke today because technically my month is up, but I want to have more discipline around it. I decided I'm only smoking once a week on the weekend. If that proves to still hurt my ambitions, I can always rework. I know now I can be honest with myself.

I'm proud of how far I've come.