New Moon in Cancer Circle

This past Tuesday I attended a women's (+ non-binary person's) circle to celebrate the new moon in Cancer. (Actually happening tonight.)

The purpose is to create community and set intentions for the upcoming month. Two things that fit into my new lifestyle perfectly – connection and reflection.

Today, I want to focus on connection.

There's something beautiful in sharing a space with like-minded individuals. People who are open to whatever the Universe/God has to offer. Open to vulnerability from you and themselves. It creates a safe environment where you feel seen and held.

It was actually my third month attending, but this month was a little different for me. This day of this month I felt called to share more deeply.

Every circle, we open with short introductions – your name, whatever is on your mind, and what you brought for the altar. (The altar being a small assortment of items in the middle of the circle related to the theme of that month.) Your offering is there to gather the energy of the room and remind you of your intentions.

This month, I brought a handmade pen my Uncle Rocky made for me.

He passed away about a week ago.

It wasn't sudden; he was sick for a long time, but it still struck me hard.

As death of a loved one does.

One thing I hate is crying in front of others. Something I'm slowly getting over by well – crying in front of others.

I should have known it might happen. I didn't get two words out before the tears fell, my hands shaking as I placed the deer antler pen on the altar.

It felt a little awkward at first but as everyone listened and comforted me, it quickly transformed into peace.

I felt a sense of release to actually share what was on my mind.

To not hold back for fear of being "too much."

Each time I've shown up to this circle, I've contemplated sharing my story of repressed memories and child sexual abuse. It's always on my mind, but my internal dialogue stops me.

"Will I cry? Will I make them uncomfortable? Is this the time and place?"

I was still contemplating these questions in my head when we got to the prompt portion of the circle.

The part where we draw a question from a bowl and speak on it.

Another opportunity to share what's on our mind.

My prompt was this:

HISTORIAN

Cancer is a keeper of time.

Reflect on your relationship to nostalgia. Do you over-idealize or villainize the past?

How can your past inform your present/future?

As I read, I smiled and nervously laughed a little to myself, knowing in that moment it was the right time to share.

Here goes everything.

And I did. I shared a short version of my story to the group and it felt immensely satisfying.

My nervousness went away as I spoke, and I felt the connection that sharing brought me.

I felt it pull me closer to the people around me. Ground me on this physical plane.

No one judged me. No one rejected me.

They thanked me for having the courage to share.

And in turn, I thanked myself.