Aspiring to be better Vs. Wanting more

Lilly Scheibelhut
Apr 13, 2025
1 min read

It's a funny place to be – not where you want.

You look at other people, artists, and think:

That's it ... I wish I had that. I wish I was there.

But, you can never be there just as they can never be here.

Just as their past is different from your past.

You know this, and still you look on with an envious heart, wishing to be somewhere you're not.

If only, if only, if only ...

Like you're wishing time away. Not enjoying the present. Not enjoying the journey – the unavoidable time it takes to even get to your there.

And what does over there have that right here doesn't?

A feeling of enough? Admiration? A job well done?

Those things are not found there.

They're here, in the presence of each breath.

Because inevitably you'll get over there and then you'll want another there, and another, and another ... until you finally wake up one day after a long tiring journey of theres, and you'll be here. Right where you wanted.

1/15/26

This isn't goodbye.

When I started this blog, a year and a half ago, it was almost a manifesto of sorts, proclaiming, "Hey, World, I was sexually abused as a child, and this is how I live with it." I wanted my words to help people feel whole, connected, and loved. I wanted to help people heal from suffering. And while I think I've accomplished those tasks to an extent, I know I can do better. I've changed a lot in this last year and a half. It's only natural that as I evolve, so do my offerings to you. My blog...

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1/4/26

Change is Coming

I'm laying on my blue couch cushions, wrapped in a long fuzzy blanket. Not that I really need it because it's a sunny 70 degrees outside here in Denver. But there's a cool cross breeze going through the open windows in our house and as anyone who knows my family knows, Scheibelhuts gets cold. As I'm bundled up here, I'm thinking back to all this past year has brought. I got my yoga teaching certification. Started teaching yoga a mere 3 weeks after that. Began my sober lifestyle. I moved into...

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12/9/25

When there seems like little hope

Sometimes the world is a bad place. There's real heart sorrowing tragedy. Natural disasters. Life ending sicknesses. War. Shootings. Trauma. When I read the news or hear people discuss current events, it can feel scary. Like there's a real loss of safety. But I have a quick exercise for you. Right now, look around the room that you're in and notice everything that is brown. Take inventory of what each object or surface is. Go ahead take a minute and look. When you're done, read this next...