An Ace Up My Sleeve

I can make myself so nervous it feels like I might throw up, pass out, or some combination of the two.

Which I think is a pretty normal thing to happen, but during these times, it feels anything but normal.

This past Friday was one of those times.

I was sitting in the gym parking lot 30 minutes early for my interview.

An interview for a yoga teacher position.

A training I haven't even taken yet. (I just signed up for one a few weeks ago that officially starts Jan 20.)

I'm sweating in the driver's seat of my parked car, trying not to hyperventilate, going through all of my techniques.

Slow deep breathing.

Grounding.

I even wrote a post about erasing performance anxiety not too long ago, so I decided to try that.

Play.

I pulled out my tarot deck from my backpack, shuffled, and asked "What will help me get through this interview?"

The Ace of Wands.

A symbol of optimism, creativity, new beginnings, and growth.

I immediately felt the connection between the current moment and the card. I let my mind and body ruminate in the feeling. A new beginning.

It didn't take all of my anxiety away, but it helped.

My heart rate lowered, and I felt a budding sense of confidence.

Trust.

This is what I'm supposed to be doing.

The interview ended up going great. I'll hear back on the position tomorrow.

Fingers crossed!

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I think it's fun to share synchronicities, so here's one.

Before writing this post, I shuffled a different tarot deck and asked "What should I write about?"

It was the Ace of Wands.