A Monster Named Desire

Lilly Scheibelhut
Aug 31, 2025
1 min read

Updated: Sep 7, 2025

I used to have a monster chained inside me.

Most of the time it laid dormant, but I could feel it waiting.

Feel it perk up when a cute guy paid attention to me.

Anytime I got drunk, it would break free and take over my body, feeding.

Greedily drinking on the admiration of others – no matter the cost.

I didn't understand it back then.

Worse, I was afraid of it.

Ashamed.

"That's not me."

I would silently justify to myself.

"I don't know what that is."

This thinking allowed the monster to rule my life.

Perpetuated the suffering I caused on others.

I was a slave to the monster and the monster was me.

It didn't get better until I faced my fear (what the monster was so scared of.)

That it's okay to be undesirable.

It's okay to be yourself.

It was a long, bumpy journey, but I'm proud to finally stand at the summit.

I look forward to the next mountain to climb, my monster lovingly inside.

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