A Monster Named Desire
- Lilly Scheibelhut
- Aug 31
- 1 min read
Updated: Sep 7
I used to have a monster chained inside me.
Most of the time it laid dormant, but I could feel it waiting.
Feel it perk up when a cute guy paid attention to me.
Anytime I got drunk, it would break free and take over my body, feeding.
Greedily drinking on the admiration of others – no matter the cost.
I didn't understand it back then.
Worse, I was afraid of it.
Ashamed.
"That's not me."
I would silently justify to myself.
"I don't know what that is."
This thinking allowed the monster to rule my life.
Perpetuated the suffering I caused on others.
I was a slave to the monster and the monster was me.
It didn't get better until I faced my fear (what the monster was so scared of.)
That it's okay to be undesirable.
It's okay to be yourself.
It was a long, bumpy journey, but I'm proud to finally stand at the summit.
I look forward to the next mountain to climb, my monster lovingly inside.
